Happy 2nd Birthday Ava Marie Qi Ya!!!!!!! Part 1

Ava's finding photo

Her favorite Nanny

We dont know how old she is here?

Seeing Ava for the first time

Finally after 3 years, in our arms

Where do I start?  Last night we celebrated Ava's 2nd Birthday, her given Birthday on her adoption paperwork is January 20th, 2007.  She was abandoned on April 17th, 2007, she was left at the front of a News Paper Press gate.  Upon arrival at the orphanage after examination she was found to have a serve heart defect.  Would her Mom have kept her if it was not for her heart?  Was it too much of a financial burden to the family?  Did she hold her baby tight every night and nurse her at the breast wondering what she would do as she looked into those deep brown eyes?  Only her birth Mom knows her real Birthday.  I can not help be think over this past month "Was today the day Ava was born?"  Is her birth Mom on the other side of the world thinking about the baby girl she left very sick at the News Paper gate?  Is she wondering if she is still alive and does she ever wonder if she has been adopted and living in America and that her heart has been healed?  All these questions bring tears to my eyes and to wonder what it would be like to have to make the life saving decision for your child.

I remember going to her finding spot and standing there while all the locals moved about.  Here we were 6 Americans standing here holding a Chinese baby girl.  Did anyone recognize her?  Did anyone remember one year earlier as she laid here helpless and alone?

I had no time to get emotional last night with the craziness of the party but as the kids laid asleep in their beds after the cake and ice cream rush I could not help to come back to all those questions again.  I always wanted to be a Mom since I was a little girl.  I have two younger brothers and many many foster brothers during my childhood.  I always dreamed of getting married and having children some day.  When that day finally came I had four sons.  My oldest was a text book pregnancy and birth I did not know any better and was just happy I was finally having  my first baby after more than 3 years of trying and a very painful surgery to be given a 20% chance of having children.  His birth was a horrible experience, I will not go into all the details.  I went on to have 3 more sons and took an alternative view.  I had three beautiful peaceful, perfect home births and two of those were water births.  I was in total control and everything was just right. I did almost lose my 4th son during pregnancy and was on bedrest, all my past female issues showed up again with him and it was very scary but his birth was perfect and he is my red head so what else can I say. :-)  With all our boys we practiced Attachment Parenting, Family Bed, and I nursed all of them  for at least 2 years, one a little longer.   I love all of them very much but still had that longing for a little girl.  Every year that past that feeling got stronger and stronger.  I always thought about adoption and starting reading more and more about it.  It is funny how God works, was his plan really to send us to the other side of the world for that daughter we always wanted?  He knew all along that she was meant for us, God is good!  We are so privileged to be the parents of this little girl, God knew exactly what he was doing.  You should see my boys with her, it was the best thing that could of happened to our family.  I will say that there are still trying times, sleepless nights, tantrums, toddler messes everywhere but in the end it is all worth it.  God has big plans for her and I am so honored to be able to witness it first hand.  Thanks for listening to my ramblings and enjoy the pictures, it will probably take a couple of posts.